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Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Life changes

Ok, so it's spring (or at least it's supposed to be, though we had snow on the ground this morning), so I guess change is just in the air. I didn't expect it to hit me so hard that, at 36, I've actually outgrown one of my "support groups" and it's time for me to move on. See, I've been a member of MOPS (Mothers Of PreSchoolers) since my oldest was a newborn - that means I'm currently in my 9th year of membership. My group now allows moms to stay through the kindergarten year of the youngest - that would be next year, making total years of membership - 10!!! It dawned on me today, as I was spending time with my discussion group and other MOPS members (just a morning get together, and the first I've actually been able to go to) that I am *SO* disconnected from them. Yes, we are all moms, and yes, we are all members of the same MOPS group, but that's pretty much where it ends.

See, they are still in the "breeding years" - there have been a lot of babies born to group members lately, and even more are currently pregnant - and that time is behind me. No, I'm not really too old (at 36), but I have a son and a daughter and I'm good with that. I also have a rather large dog, 2 cats and a tank full of fish (plus 1 snail), not to mention the house, yard, cars, etc. that I take care of. I don't NEED or WANT another child in my life at this point, and I'm happy with my decision. However, it almost seems like I'm the odd one out because of not wanting anymore children. Don't get me wrong, I love the ladies in this group and have some great friendships because of the group, but it's just not me anymore. Why does this have to hit me now....I'm already under enough stress with planning a visit to my Mother's house, I don't need to be hit with the realization that, once again, I'm the odd one out in my group...argh...

Now, to bring this somewhat back to relate to Etsy and my items....why am I consistently drawn to make items for children, especially since mine are growing up and we aren't going to be adding to the family (at least not with 2 leggers that come from my body...4 leggers from the shelter are ALWAYS an option)?? I think I may hold off on the overall bibs for a while as I try to sort everything out in my head. Maybe it's that I fully acknowledge my lack of desire for more children, but still like making things that are useful to other mothers, who knows...definitely not me at this point. sigh

One of the things that I do have in my Etsy shop went over extremely well with my MOPS froends this morning, and I may make more of them based on their interest - the bath sets with the soaps, shower gels, lotions, bath salts, and scrubbies.....the moms that I hung out with this morning went totally nuts over them - not just the available fragrances, but the whole set, how cute they were, and the fact that the price is within range for nearly all of the moms that they could think of. SO maybe they will start selling....hey, as long as they are being bought by somebody, I'm not going to complain if it's the entire MOPS group that is buying

In my confusion over my revelation that I no longer belong to this group, I turned to my husband to vent and rant for a bit. He pointed out that, while my daughter is still a preschooler, she goes to school-based preschool, which means she's gone 5 days a week for the same time as our son....basically, it's a year of preparation for when she goes to kindergarten. We talked for a while, and I said it seemed as if God was giving me a tangible sign that it was time for me to move on to different things - in the form of a book called "The 10-Year Nap". It's a book about SAHMs - who have been SAHMs for 10 years.....what really got me was the very last line of the book: "One day you just woke up, and there was somewhere that you needed to be." I guess this is my wakeup call and it's time for me to move on. I'm not making plans, but letting things fall as they will....I'm not going to stand idly by either....I WANT to be on the preschool policy council for another 2 years and I WANT to be active in the PTA at the children's school, so I will take what steps I can to see that I accomplish these things. If it doesn't happen, I won't be overly upset, but will stay open to other possibilities. Maybe it's that my business will take off more and I will have to devote more time to production...who knows.

Whatever it is, change is in the air, and while I'm not 100% comfortable with it, I will go along with it, if for no reason than the fact that I really have no choice.

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